loses, bruises

The years increase, since you've passed. It feels like a lifetime ago, but it was only five years. Five years is an extremely long time, but, our separation feels more distant into the future. It feels like maybe 10, or 15 years ago. 

Our memories, and conversations seem to fade away as I get older. They seem to erase out of my mind, to make room for the new ones to come. I don't want to forget, and I shouldn't forget, why am I forgetting. You are my mother, most people could clinch onto old memories of important things like that. I loose track of some moments, and some laughs, or joke, I loose track of most of it. The only memory I can't lack, is the image of your cold, pale body lying on a hospital bed, while many people were drenched in tears. I can't shake your death, but our memories seem to be forgotten easier than your death. Why mommy, why is this happening. I want you, I need you. I need some satisfaction of our times together, our everything together. I know I was to young to remember, but I want too. 

mommy, don't leave me for good.